When we quit drinking, emotions we’ve spent years numbing suddenly come bubbling (or roaring) to the surface – and few feel as uncomfortable or overwhelming as anger. For many of us, it’s an emotion we were never taught to handle, let alone express in a healthy way. In this honest roundtable conversation, we explore what anger really is, why it shows up, and how to deal with anger without landing in fear, shame, or regret.
In this episode, Julie and Steve are joined by Lester Vaskin and Mike Coyne, who share their personal experiences and insights from recovery, relationships, and real life. Together, they unpack the hidden layers beneath anger – fear, disappointment, and unmet expectations – and discuss how learning to sit with and respond to anger can become one of the most powerful tools for growth in sobriety.
In This Episode:
- Why anger feels so overwhelming in early sobriety
- How childhood conditioning shapes the way we express (or suppress) anger
- Understanding anger as a secondary emotion
- The difference between reacting and responding
- How the “pause” – or “meta moment” – helps your rational brain catch up
- Using anger as a motivator for positive change
- When anger masks fear, sadness, or hurt
- Why avoiding anger keeps us stuck – and how feeling it sets us free
- Realistic tools (that you’ll actually use) for handling anger in healthy ways
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Mike Coyne is the founder of Curevine (@curevine), a private practice trying to elevate the quality of treatment and discourse around mental health. As a Counselor and Family Addiction Specialist his work centers on disorders of compulsion, neurodivergence, and relational healing. Drawing on a biopsychosocial framework, he helps individuals and families develop healthier dynamics through an emphasis on the recognition of personal emotions and their roles; interpersonal patterns and communication. His approach integrates neurobiological insight with practical strategies to help people recognize and meet their needs, eliminating the maladaptive behavior.
Before pivoting to mental health, Mike spent 14 years coaching in the NFL and NCAA, gaining invaluable insight into the psychology of fear, resilience, growth and development under incredible pressure. This is where he began to understand that change — personal or collective — emerges from a commitment to one’s values, disciplined empathy, and the courage step into fear. If you or a loved one may need help, or you’re interested in education/content, follow or message Mike on instagram, @curevine. You can text or call: 410.596.8967, email mc@curevine.com, or visit Curevine.com. For information/content/answers related specifically to opioid addiction/recovery: mc@curevinecom.
Lester Vaskin
Criminal Justice Recovery Coach, Peer 180
State Opioid Response (SOR) Grant Recovery Coach
Grand Junction, Colorado
I am a man in active sustained recovery, which means to me that since December 14th, 2021 I have abstained from any mind altering substance to experience life and all it has to offer, both good and bad, without having to run from it. My life in recovery is a life full of joy with my girlfriend Miranda and our dog Max.
Check out all the resources Through the Glass Recovery offers:
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