You know the feeling. You’ve had a pretty decent day at work. Productive, fairly low stress, and you’re in a good mood. You have no intention of drinking. In fact, you’re looking forward to enjoying another sober evening, and waking up tomorrow feeling glorious. But you walk outside, get in your car, and suddenly all you can think about is stopping by the liquor store on the way home.
“What on earth?” you think to yourself. But the pull gets stronger and harder to ignore. And suddenly, almost without thinking, you turn into the liquor store parking lot and stop for a bottle of wine on the way home.
It’s almost like autopilot. And it’s kinda scary.
So What Gives?
When it comes to triggers of the alcohol habit, I divide them into two basic types: automatically triggered urges, and emotionally triggered urges. And sometimes those automatic ones can be the toughest ones to fight.
The most helpful tool in overcoming automatically triggered urges is understanding the science behind them. Understanding what’s happening in your brain helps you step back, respond with compassion, and take back control.
And you may have already guessed this already, but it all goes back to dopamine – that chemical your brain is programmed to seek more (and more, and more) of.
The Dopamine Addiction
There are actually two chemicals our brain produces that relate to these automatic cravings, and it’s important to understand the purpose of each.
Endorphins are the pleasure chemical. When you eat the berries, you feel good. They taste good, and endorphins create a feeling of wellbeing that allows you to enjoy eating the berries.
Dopamine plays a key role in motivation and reinforcement. It fuels our drive to seek out things that have brought us pleasure before.. It’s part of the pleasure system, but contrary to common belief, it’s not actually what makes us feel pleasure. It’s what motivates us to seek to find pleasure, and it creates long-term memories to help us continue finding it.
Let’s look at it from an evolutionary standpoint.
- You’re wandering through the forest and stumble upon a berry bush.
- You eat the berries—they’re delicious and packed with nutrients your body needs to survive.
- Endorphins are released, making you feel good and reinforcing the experience.
- Your brain releases dopamine, creating a memory of where you are, the time of year, and what the berry bush and surrounding plants look like.
- The next time you’re in the forest, your subconscious recalls this and nudges you to start searching for those berries again.
It’s basic survival instinct.
Dopamine and endorphins work together to push you toward the things that feel positive. That feel like they’re creating safety and a higher chance of survival.
But We Aren’t Living In Caveman Days Anymore
Your “subconscious” is the behind the scenes brain activity that makes decisions you aren’t even aware of. It is the goal of your subconscious to keep you comfortable and safe. And when something feels good – when a specific act releases endorphins – your subconscious will want you to do more of that act. That’s a great automatic response! Until alcohol comes into the picture.
When you drink alcohol, endorphins are released. And alcohol doesn’t just release endorphins—it also impacts brain chemicals that regulate stress and inhibition, reinforcing the habit further. The altered state of mind is pleasurable. It feels good, and might even be numbing some difficult emotions. So your brain releases dopamine – creating memories of where you are, who you’re with, what the situation and surroundings are like. It is preparing itself to remind and motivate you to seek out alcohol again.
So let’s look at what that looks like in modern times. You leave work, and you go to the liquor store. You go inside, and grab a bottle of wine. You check out at the cashier, and head home. Then you open the bottle of wine, and pour a glass. And then you take a drink.
It seems like simple actions, but your brain is making all kinds of notes here, doing its level best to find more ways to keep you “comfortable and safe”. At first, your brain begins to recognize opening the bottle of wine as a trigger for pleasure and comfort. Over time, it begins to recognize walking into the shop as the source of that pleasure. Continued repeated behavior means the memories are created further and further away from the source. Eventually, it’s driving by the shop that triggers the urge… and then it’s getting into your car after work.
Your Subconscious (Incorrectly) Thinks Alcohol Is a Source of Comfort and Safety
Because the primary purpose of these chemicals is to keep you alive, dopamine (the motivator, remember?) will start pushing you harder and harder toward the source of the comfort and safety. This is a craving. If you can take a step back here, and recognize what is happening, you can take charge of your thoughts and behaviors.
Instead of your subconscious taking control of your actions, you give the power to the conscious.
You take the power away from the automated systems that have been trying (and failing) to keep you safe and comfortable, and make a conscious decision to do what really keeps you safe.
How to Fight the Auto-Craving
If you can bring the subconscious responses into the conscious – be aware of what’s happening behind the scenes – then you can take control and begin the process of reprogramming the way your brain responds to these old memories and triggers.
First, acknowledge that your brain is trying to push you toward what it thinks is going to keep you alive.
Your brain thinks it’s helping you. ‘Hey, remember how that glass of wine felt good before? Let’s do that again!’ But now, you get to step in and say, ‘I hear you, but that’s not what I actually need.
Third, let your subconscious know that you’re going to take control from here. Make the decision to start changing those subconscious beliefs about alcohol – because they can be changed. It just takes time, repetition, and practice.
Last, replace the drink with a different action or activity that does support your wellbeing and keep you safe.
It took Time For these Subconscious Memories To Be Created
Expect that it will take time to undo the memories and create new ones, too.
Your subconscious, above all else, is fighting to keep you safe and comfortable. Remember that it’s okay to be uncomfortable for a while. And you will be – fighting these automatic responses that have built up over time will inherently be uncomfortable. But it won’t always feel that way. The more you change these underlying belief systems, the more naturally sobriety is going to become.
If you find that you’re having an urge to drink alcohol, even though you really don’t want to, take a step back and pause. Recognize what’s going on, and move through the steps above and start taking charge of things. Let your subconscious take a back seat until it learns what’s actually good for you.
Looking for more resources and advice for early sobriety? Check out this post about how to set yourself up for success on day one of sobriety, and also this one for a fool-proof tool for overcoming cravings in the early days of living alcohol free.
If you love podcasts, check out this episode of Through the Glass Recovery Podcast, where we talk about how to combat the “alcohol voice” that gets louder and louder when automatic cravings kick in.
Julie Miller, RCP is a certified recovery coach. After a decade of too much drinking, she found her way into an alcohol free life and is now thriving. Her recovery is founded in overcoming shame, finding her authentic self, and creating a life so full there’s no space left for alcohol. Through her coaching, podcasting, and the recovery community she has built, Julie has found her purpose in helping others find their way out of addiction and into a meaningful, purpose filled life of freedom.